Betsy Johnson

Lumpectomy. Chemo. Radiation. Unexpected divorce. All in the same year. Most days, my heart felt as if it had been scraped raw by gravel. “Life is what it is,” I would hear. That might be so, but it didn’t make it any easier. I knew there were all kinds of ways I could numb the pain, but I wanted to make sure I was making my life better, not worse. Guided meditation was the one thing I could count on to bring ease, hope, a voice. My own voice telling me I was strong. I could get through this. I was worthy. I was enough.

Now this former good girl is finding her authentic self: a bad ass with a big heart. My hope is that what helped me will help you, any of you, who need to know you are strong, who need to be reminded you can get through this, who need to remember you are worthy. You are enough.

My Intentions

#1: To post a new meditation every Monday and Thursday. But if life happens, then the new meditations will get posted when they get posted. The former me would have added an apology about this; the now me says deal with it, cupcake. Which leads to my second intention—.

 #2: To let go of that which I cannot control. As a recovering perfectionist, I could spend hours editing these meditations. Instead, I am choosing to post them “as is.”

I live and share a wall with a toddler who cries. I live near a church whose bells chime every fifteen minutes. I live by birds who circle and sing. All of these sounds—and more—seep into my closet, where I sit on the floor and record these meditations. I don’t want to pretend that my life is perfect anymore. So here it is. Raw and real.